At the moment I'm in my studio apartment in Helsinki. It's really nice and everything I need is here. Yesterday I went out for some grocery shopping so I can make a nice breakfast later. I noticed everything is so expensive, but I guess all the things I needed were imported and of course it's much further to Finland than to the Netherlands. I got some strawberries, oranges, salad, tomatoes, eggs and bacon so I think I can survive for a few days.
I am hoping I can book another few days at this apartment because I really don't want to leave yet and I checked my university e-mail and since I did not hear anything yet from the ballet school I am waiting to get approval from, I can't do anything anyway. A good reason to enjoy this great city some more, and of course the company I'm having here!
Let's go back to Tampere. We arrived there around 2.30 in the morning, walked to my friend's home and talked for a while, until her other friend could take the bus home. Slept very well that night, since I was exhausted, and the next day we got some Chinese food at a place close by. It was delicious, although I was missing any kind of vegetables. Yeah, I am really missing those by now, so I am glad I can now cook for myself.
In the evening my friend decided to show me the nightlife of Tampere. We went to a nice little bar called Hälläkellari (if I'm spelling it right) and it turned out to be karaoke night. Of course I dragged my friend on the stage to do some songs. We ended up picking Paparazzi from Lady Gaga since we thought it would fit our constant Sonata-stalking. After that I did Sleeping Sun from Nightwish and got some fans. They came asking at our table if I would do some more songs, so I got back on stage and did Bring me to life from Evanescence. At the end of the evening we did a Finnish song from Teräsbetöni, after all I need to practice my pronunciation!
The next day I met up with another friend from Finland. She lives about 150kms away from Tampere and came by bus around noon. We met up at the hotel she booked for us and got rid of our stuff. We planned a day full of shopping but somehow the shops didn't agree with us. Fashion is terrible at the moment. I could not find anything I liked. I love all the neon stuff that's been a hit since last year, but somehow all designs were ugly. I ended up buying a hairband and that was about it.
We bought some ciders at Alko and decided we were too lazy to go out that night. Instead we stayed in our room, watching bad movies and talking a lot. I think it was the best choice to make as we had so much fun and really got to know each other a bit better. The next morning we took breakfast at the hotel and left our things there for another round of shopping. We didn't check one part of town yet. Finally I found some nice things. I bought really nice ankle boots with studs and a black jeans with the whole side covered in studs. The zipper was completely loose on one side, I think the threads had broken or something, but it was the last one in that size so I got a nice discount. We decided it would be nice to eat some Mexican food and went to Amarillo. The food was good, although way too much and I felt like you could roll me back to the hotel. We were both getting sleepy and decided to walk back to the hotel to get our things. My friend walked to the bus station and I went back to my other friend who lives in Tampere.
In the evening we went to Jack the Rooster, as we had been wanting to go there for a few days now. It was quite fun there, although I must say I prefer Hällä. We did some more karaoke there, and went home quite early. The next day our bus to Helsinki would leave at twelve and we still had to pack some things.
The busride went well, I dozed off a few times and listened to music the whole ride. In Helsinki we tried to find out where we were exactly. It was much easier than we thought but it took us a while to find our hotel Radisson Blu Royal. Our room looked great and we did some shower and make-up session already for the show. We also went out to get some nice drinks and food and made it nicely on time to get a front row spot at the Sonata gig at Virgin Oil. Once we had our spots of course I had to leave to find another friend. I found him and it was really nice to see him again. Unfortunately the guy I planned to meet there I did not find. I sent him a message but he only saw it after the show. At least he was patient enough to wait for me and it was so great to see him again. We kept staring into each other's eyes and my stomach was doing gymnastics moves all the time.
It was so hard not to kiss him but I did not want to make my friend feel uncomfortable, so I didn't. After the show a few bandmembers came out from backstage and told us they were leaving for Bäkkäri bar. Of course going there had always been our plan but it's much more fun to go with a bigger group. The show was nice by the way, but there's not that much to say about it since we already saw the same setlist for so many times now. I must say that it's getting boring, I really hope they will change it soon! Luckily the sound over here was much better than in Denmark, although I sometimes had trouble hearing the keyboard.
Bäkkäri bar was crowded as always. As I went to order a drink I noticed a guy who looked very familiar. As I looked again at him, I recognized him as Esa from Amorphis. Next to him were Niklas and Jan. Too bad not the whole band was there, but funny how you can just walk into them over here. Looking around I also saw members of Stratovarius and of course Sonata and Battle Beast (who had watched the show). I also saw another familiar face and it was a friend from my ex-boyfriend, a girl who lives in Helsinki since 1,5 years now. I met her a few times before that and it was so nice to see her again. She is my example in that you can very well move to another country and be happy there.
I was glad there were so many familiar faces because I knew my friend would have some more people to talk to except for me. Finally I got to kiss my Finn and it was great. He said the nicest things to me and everything I feared before just went away. I was so afraid one of us would not be into the other person anymore, or it would be awkward or something, but it all seemed perfect. He spent the night at our hotel room and although I had an amazing time I regret that I did that my friend. She must have had a terrible night being there with two people who cannot keep away from each other. I really was planning on behaving very well but my god that was too hard.
We got up for breakfast in time the next morning and it was a good one! So many choices of food and all tasty! I went for a healthy breakfast since I am eating too much junkfood over here. Back in our room it was again so hard to keep away from my Finn and my friend got a bit annoyed by it and left the room. I felt bad about it but it is so hard to not even be allowed to kiss. I know those sounds are very annoying, especially when you want to sleep. Well she sent me a message saying she was sorry, and was having a coffee so we could have some time alone. So sweet of her! I apologized to her or course later that day.
We talked about many things and I like that we are different but also have some things in common. And he is the perfect gentleman holding the door open for me, holding my coat so I can put it on, being very polite. I am really falling hard for him.
The rest of the day my friend and I spent at Hard Rock Café with another friend and one of the bandmembers of Sonata. We started with a nice cocktail of raspberries and continued with cider, while having a nice meal there. The rest of the band and part of the crew came over as well to have dinner and soon after that they had to leave for the train to Russia. We decided that evening to get some food and take it to our room. We hadn't slept that well so went to sleep pretty early. I slept wonderful again!
The next morning it was time for a delicious breakfast again. Soon after that it was time to pack. We could leave our stuff at the hotel and walked in the city a bit, checking out some shops. We ended up buying matching necklaces with the first letter of our name. I got an L and my friend a D. Took a few pictures with our new necklaces and it is so nice to have such a good friend you can do crazy stuff with. We found another accesories shop and I got a pair of earrings in the shape of zippers, a few bracelets, a cute lace mask and another hairband. Luckily it's sale everywhere!
Around 3 o'clock my friend had to leave for Tampere. I am sad she is gone, but I am hoping I can go visit her soon. If I stay a bit longer over here I might be able to travel back to her and stay for another few days. It would be great fun again, I am sure!
But for now, I want to stay in Helsinki, meet up with my Finn and have some romantic moments before I have to leave again. Yesterday evening we went out for dinner, talked a lot and decided to check out a bar. However, since it was so crowded everywhere and so loud, it was not possible to really talk and hear each other, so I invited him to my place instead. We talked a lot about his job, since that is such a huge and important part of his life and I really like to hear more. He spent the night here and although I hardly slept, my head too full of things to be able to relax, I feel great. His scent is still here, and I am glad I like it. One of my friends and I talked about this. If the scent is not right, somehow it will never work out and you'd better run away haha. Well he chose completely right by himself. I miss him already. He had to leave for work this morning and I really did not want to let him go.
So now I am lying here in bed thinking about all that happened and writing it down. I wish I could stay here forever. Love is a wonderful thing. I hope it will work out for us. I will do anything to make it happen.
Sunday, February 3, 2013
Monday, January 28, 2013
Back In Finland!
I'm in Finland!!! So excited to be here. It's beautiful with all the snow, and cold but not too cold. And I love my friend's place, it's so cosy, I feel perfectly at home.
On Friday I left for Hilversum by train, arrived around ten at the railway station and got picked up by my friend. We chatted a little and went to bed afterwards. Next morning came too early but we made it perfectly on time. Her boyfriend brought us to the airport, very sweet of him so there was no stress at all. The flight was good, although it was a tiny airplane.
We were waiting for my luggage but it never showed, so I asked a lady at the desk what to do and she took my information so she could contact me if it was found. Crappy that my suitcase was missing since I was wearing the same clothes for two days then and I really wanted to freshen up a bit before the gig.
Kopenhagen was very windy and cold, and it took us forever to find the hostel, but when we arrived I was so happy it looked so clean and nice. Not at all like I remember from the last hostel I was in. We went shopping soon after we arrived since I really needed some clean socks and underwear. Later that day we met up with my friend from Finland and had dinner at the Hardrock Café. It was delicious! We went to the venue to check it out, bought some drinks on the way and spent our time chatting and waiting for the doors to open.
The show was hilarious because we made it that way, by doing funny dances and stuff, but the sound was terrible. We almost couldn't hear the singer so that was too bad. Also the setlist was almost exactly the same as on the Finnish and European tour, so that was disappointing, but still, we had a great time. You can make everything fun with the right attitude!
After the show we talked for a few seconds with Elias and Marko, but got kicked out by one of the girls that worked there. We were supposed to meet up with the band at a bar afterwards but I think they were too lazy and tired to go out once they were at the hotel. We went to an English Pub and had a drink and then walked a long way until we decided it was time to go to sleep. My friend and I had to leave our hotelroom again at ten in the morning so it was late enough.
Next morning I got a call from Scandinavian Airlines that my suitcase was found and I could pick it up at the airport. So my friend and I went into the city with our stuff, walked around for a while to try and find a place to eat breakfast. After that we took the train to the airport and I finally got reunited with my suitcase! Then came a time of endless waiting, since it was around 13.3p and my flight was at 21.10 in the evening. Oh well, I survived, and all went well with the flight to my 'second home'. I was so happy to breathe Finnish air. It's cold here but I'm okay with it. It looks so pretty, everything covered in white. I can't complain about anything.
I had a good night's sleep, although it could have been a bit longer. And now I think I'll go have a shower and dress and then see what my friend and I will do later today. Some nice food would be good, getting hungry...
On Friday I left for Hilversum by train, arrived around ten at the railway station and got picked up by my friend. We chatted a little and went to bed afterwards. Next morning came too early but we made it perfectly on time. Her boyfriend brought us to the airport, very sweet of him so there was no stress at all. The flight was good, although it was a tiny airplane.
We were waiting for my luggage but it never showed, so I asked a lady at the desk what to do and she took my information so she could contact me if it was found. Crappy that my suitcase was missing since I was wearing the same clothes for two days then and I really wanted to freshen up a bit before the gig.
Kopenhagen was very windy and cold, and it took us forever to find the hostel, but when we arrived I was so happy it looked so clean and nice. Not at all like I remember from the last hostel I was in. We went shopping soon after we arrived since I really needed some clean socks and underwear. Later that day we met up with my friend from Finland and had dinner at the Hardrock Café. It was delicious! We went to the venue to check it out, bought some drinks on the way and spent our time chatting and waiting for the doors to open.
The show was hilarious because we made it that way, by doing funny dances and stuff, but the sound was terrible. We almost couldn't hear the singer so that was too bad. Also the setlist was almost exactly the same as on the Finnish and European tour, so that was disappointing, but still, we had a great time. You can make everything fun with the right attitude!
After the show we talked for a few seconds with Elias and Marko, but got kicked out by one of the girls that worked there. We were supposed to meet up with the band at a bar afterwards but I think they were too lazy and tired to go out once they were at the hotel. We went to an English Pub and had a drink and then walked a long way until we decided it was time to go to sleep. My friend and I had to leave our hotelroom again at ten in the morning so it was late enough.
Next morning I got a call from Scandinavian Airlines that my suitcase was found and I could pick it up at the airport. So my friend and I went into the city with our stuff, walked around for a while to try and find a place to eat breakfast. After that we took the train to the airport and I finally got reunited with my suitcase! Then came a time of endless waiting, since it was around 13.3p and my flight was at 21.10 in the evening. Oh well, I survived, and all went well with the flight to my 'second home'. I was so happy to breathe Finnish air. It's cold here but I'm okay with it. It looks so pretty, everything covered in white. I can't complain about anything.
I had a good night's sleep, although it could have been a bit longer. And now I think I'll go have a shower and dress and then see what my friend and I will do later today. Some nice food would be good, getting hungry...
Friday, January 25, 2013
Speaking My Mind
Just a short message, the last one before my next trip starts. My internet finally got back to me this afternoon around 4. I am so happy with it, I could do some things I needed to get ready before tomorrow.
I also finished my fake-leather pants and even washed it so tomorrow I can pack it and bring it with me. I hope the fabric doesn't rip or something while I wear it...
I wrapped all the presents for my friends yesterday and now the suitcase is quite full already. I counted 11 presents but I think my friends will all love to get a (few) gift(s) so I have to try and fit it all in there. Even if it means bringing less clothes. I saw that the apartment I rented for the end of next week has a washing machine so I can wash some clothes then, should be okay.
Therapy went nicely yesterday. She asked about my plans after I get my master's degree and I told her I would get back to work at my old practice or move to Finland. I told her I really wasn't sure yet, but I am getting more confident every day that I need to get out of the life I am stuck in right now and start somewhere new. I won't break every link I have with this life of course, I want to keep all of my friends here and travel back to see them and all, but I think it would be great to start with a career over there instead of going on in the same way I always did over here. Not being completely sure if I want to work there forever, if I dare to say something about the treatments some of my colleagues are giving their patients (I think in some things they are really too old-fashioned, although I like working there). I also don't think I want to buy myself into the practice. Just because I am not sure about how they work. I am interested in new treatment ways and giving more attention to the patients, because it is well-known by now that the way you communicate with your patiens and how you approach them is very important as well to the healing process. And exercising is almost always the way to go. Not completely always, definitely not, but I prefer that over putting some UKG on a patient.
I am starting to realize my mind is pretty well made up by now. I would like to work there for a very short while maybe, but definitely not forever, not even for two years or so. I am old enough to start getting on with what I want to do. No more time to waste on undecidedness.
Being undecided, it was a theme last time in my therapy-session. We talked about it again yesterday and yes I have this many times, but most of the times when it involves other people and what they want to do. I always want to please others so I want them to decide to make sure they are happy with the decision. It becomes difficult when your friends think the same way and you both don't dare to tell what you really want. I am trying now to speak my mind and not always let others say it first. A good thing I can practice in the next week(s). I will meet so many friends there that it is good to make your own opinion clear, especially when there's more than two people around. Otherwise we're all waiting for others to decide since we are all brought up with politeness as a virtue.
Quick update on my sister: she is back with her boyfriend, for now. They are trying to talk about things they want to change. But since they said they would do that, suddenly he doesn't want to talk anymore and just sit and watch tv or something. So now my sister doesn't know what to do and feels guilty towards her friends, because she told them she broke up, and now she is back with him. I told her, it is your life, you make your own decisions. If you want to try one more time, that is your decision and no one has anything to say in that. And we are all there hoping you are happy, whether that is with him or without him. I hope they can make it work, or else that they quickly break up, because I fear it will be too much for her and she is quite fragile. Not that she would do anything to herself, but she would take it hard and would be sad for months again. I just want her to be happy, find her guy SOON, so she can finally have the family she was born to have. She would be the greatest mom and I feel sad that she is feeling so hopeless about her boyfriend not wanting to have children. I wish she wasn't aso fraid to make the wrong decision and thus stay undecided.
This turned out to be not such a short post after all....Guess I had more to tell than I thought.
I got two more messages from my guy yesterday, and now I am missing him because he did not write anything today. Yesterday was fun though, finding out he is just as geeky as I am. It made me feel happy. I really hope it won't be awkward when we meet. I wish it would be just as easy as typing a message to him, because that goes so easy, I am not really thinking of what to write, it just comes right out of my fingers/head onto the screen. I sometimes have to delete stuff because I am rambling. That's how easy it goes. Now in real life I am much more shy and so I hope we won't stay quiet for ages. But I think as soon as I see that shy smile of his, I melt and it's all good.
I also finished my fake-leather pants and even washed it so tomorrow I can pack it and bring it with me. I hope the fabric doesn't rip or something while I wear it...
I wrapped all the presents for my friends yesterday and now the suitcase is quite full already. I counted 11 presents but I think my friends will all love to get a (few) gift(s) so I have to try and fit it all in there. Even if it means bringing less clothes. I saw that the apartment I rented for the end of next week has a washing machine so I can wash some clothes then, should be okay.
Therapy went nicely yesterday. She asked about my plans after I get my master's degree and I told her I would get back to work at my old practice or move to Finland. I told her I really wasn't sure yet, but I am getting more confident every day that I need to get out of the life I am stuck in right now and start somewhere new. I won't break every link I have with this life of course, I want to keep all of my friends here and travel back to see them and all, but I think it would be great to start with a career over there instead of going on in the same way I always did over here. Not being completely sure if I want to work there forever, if I dare to say something about the treatments some of my colleagues are giving their patients (I think in some things they are really too old-fashioned, although I like working there). I also don't think I want to buy myself into the practice. Just because I am not sure about how they work. I am interested in new treatment ways and giving more attention to the patients, because it is well-known by now that the way you communicate with your patiens and how you approach them is very important as well to the healing process. And exercising is almost always the way to go. Not completely always, definitely not, but I prefer that over putting some UKG on a patient.
I am starting to realize my mind is pretty well made up by now. I would like to work there for a very short while maybe, but definitely not forever, not even for two years or so. I am old enough to start getting on with what I want to do. No more time to waste on undecidedness.
Being undecided, it was a theme last time in my therapy-session. We talked about it again yesterday and yes I have this many times, but most of the times when it involves other people and what they want to do. I always want to please others so I want them to decide to make sure they are happy with the decision. It becomes difficult when your friends think the same way and you both don't dare to tell what you really want. I am trying now to speak my mind and not always let others say it first. A good thing I can practice in the next week(s). I will meet so many friends there that it is good to make your own opinion clear, especially when there's more than two people around. Otherwise we're all waiting for others to decide since we are all brought up with politeness as a virtue.
Quick update on my sister: she is back with her boyfriend, for now. They are trying to talk about things they want to change. But since they said they would do that, suddenly he doesn't want to talk anymore and just sit and watch tv or something. So now my sister doesn't know what to do and feels guilty towards her friends, because she told them she broke up, and now she is back with him. I told her, it is your life, you make your own decisions. If you want to try one more time, that is your decision and no one has anything to say in that. And we are all there hoping you are happy, whether that is with him or without him. I hope they can make it work, or else that they quickly break up, because I fear it will be too much for her and she is quite fragile. Not that she would do anything to herself, but she would take it hard and would be sad for months again. I just want her to be happy, find her guy SOON, so she can finally have the family she was born to have. She would be the greatest mom and I feel sad that she is feeling so hopeless about her boyfriend not wanting to have children. I wish she wasn't aso fraid to make the wrong decision and thus stay undecided.
This turned out to be not such a short post after all....Guess I had more to tell than I thought.
I got two more messages from my guy yesterday, and now I am missing him because he did not write anything today. Yesterday was fun though, finding out he is just as geeky as I am. It made me feel happy. I really hope it won't be awkward when we meet. I wish it would be just as easy as typing a message to him, because that goes so easy, I am not really thinking of what to write, it just comes right out of my fingers/head onto the screen. I sometimes have to delete stuff because I am rambling. That's how easy it goes. Now in real life I am much more shy and so I hope we won't stay quiet for ages. But I think as soon as I see that shy smile of his, I melt and it's all good.
Wednesday, January 23, 2013
Down
My internet has been down for a few days, so finally I decided to post with my phone. If I have time I will probably do that as well when I'm in Finland, so I'd better practice my typing skills on the phone.
The last few days I made sure I had all my presents ready for the trip. All I need to do is gift wrap them and hope they will fit into my suitcase. I have to do that tonight somewhere because I know tomorrow I will be busy with finishing my pants and hopefully sending in my research protocol. Why does it take people so long to decide if they are okay with me doing research at their school? You would think they would be happy with possibly helping their students.
Since today I am a little stressed out about all the things I need to do before I leave. Somehow two days left sounds much less than three days. Oh well, once I am on my way I will be okay I hope. Just hoping I won't forget to pack anything!
Right now I am on my way to therapy ad after that my mom will pick me up at home so I can have dinner with my parents. I wish I could use this time for other things but I know they really want to see me before I leave and I want to see them as well. I just wish it wouldn't take so much time.
So I'm halfway there. I think I will try to learn a few Finnish words before I am there.
The last few days I made sure I had all my presents ready for the trip. All I need to do is gift wrap them and hope they will fit into my suitcase. I have to do that tonight somewhere because I know tomorrow I will be busy with finishing my pants and hopefully sending in my research protocol. Why does it take people so long to decide if they are okay with me doing research at their school? You would think they would be happy with possibly helping their students.
Since today I am a little stressed out about all the things I need to do before I leave. Somehow two days left sounds much less than three days. Oh well, once I am on my way I will be okay I hope. Just hoping I won't forget to pack anything!
Right now I am on my way to therapy ad after that my mom will pick me up at home so I can have dinner with my parents. I wish I could use this time for other things but I know they really want to see me before I leave and I want to see them as well. I just wish it wouldn't take so much time.
So I'm halfway there. I think I will try to learn a few Finnish words before I am there.
Monday, January 21, 2013
It's The White Stuff
A while ago, my therapist suggested I do things I would normally not do. One of these things was sleeping on the wrong side of the bed. So at the side where normally your feet are. I can't recall exactly why it was, but mostly I think to get out of your comfortzone, do something that does not feel natural and thus throw your body a bit off-balance. I might be the shock your body needs.
I tried it for the last two nights and although I still had trouble falling asleep, I slept much better. When I woke up this morning I could see everything was white outside. I had to take a picture of course, because we almost never get to witness snow over here. The whole country is in chaos because of this terrible white fluffy stuff. Traffic jams, no trains driving on time, they even have a different schedule, so beware before you count on taking the normal train, it might not be there. I should not forget about that when I go to therapy on Wednesday...And then there is talk about this ice skating contest, the Elfstedentocht, in which ice skaters pass eleven cities skating on natural ice.
Every year when it's freezing for one day, all tv channels, radio shows and news papers only talk about this one thing. It's getting ridiculous because as far as I can recall, last time we actually had an Elfstedentocht was in 1996. I might be wrong with the year but I'm not that far off either. As you can see it's been a while. The ice is never thick enough everywhere to do the whole tour. So every year people get terribly disappointed and we put the idea back into the freezer for next year. Who knows, maybe it will happen this year. And possibly I'm in a country then where they could do this tour every year without any doubt. Ironic.
Yesterday I tried my idea with the leather pants out. I could only think of a few things I had over here that might help make the fake-leather slide easily along the machine. Because powdered sugar would probably get stick as well eventually, I decided to go with flour. It worked quite well, but somehow I was afraid I might damage the fabric as flour is not completely soft, there are some harder parts in it.
Last night when I couldn't sleep I remembered I had bought baby powder years ago for ballet class, because we had to dance on bare feet a few times for a contemporary piece, and after a while your feet get so sticky from sweating that you cannot perform the turns as well as you want to. This morning I checked and found it pretty fast. This was the right white stuff! Now the fabric glides over the machine and I finally have some pretty stitches on my pants. I wish I had thought of this sooner, so for instance the back pockets would look nicer. Or the inner leg stitchings. Oh well, it is my first try with this fabric so I think I am doing pretty well.
Today I put in the zipper and discovered another problem. I used a metal zipper because it matches nicely with the zippers I put in the legs, but of course my machine cannot stitch through metal so I have no clue how to fix this. I have to do all stitchings by hand I guess and I hope it will all stay put, because some parts need to be attached really strong. You don't want your pants to rip open around the zipper, right?
Got a really short message this evening from my Finn who is terribly exhausted from hard work. I suggested some good rest, a sauna and a massage. And I am not too lazy to offer him one, although I am not sure how long my arms and hands will last. Now he is in dreamland so I think I will join him. Would be fun to meet there again.
I tried it for the last two nights and although I still had trouble falling asleep, I slept much better. When I woke up this morning I could see everything was white outside. I had to take a picture of course, because we almost never get to witness snow over here. The whole country is in chaos because of this terrible white fluffy stuff. Traffic jams, no trains driving on time, they even have a different schedule, so beware before you count on taking the normal train, it might not be there. I should not forget about that when I go to therapy on Wednesday...And then there is talk about this ice skating contest, the Elfstedentocht, in which ice skaters pass eleven cities skating on natural ice.
Every year when it's freezing for one day, all tv channels, radio shows and news papers only talk about this one thing. It's getting ridiculous because as far as I can recall, last time we actually had an Elfstedentocht was in 1996. I might be wrong with the year but I'm not that far off either. As you can see it's been a while. The ice is never thick enough everywhere to do the whole tour. So every year people get terribly disappointed and we put the idea back into the freezer for next year. Who knows, maybe it will happen this year. And possibly I'm in a country then where they could do this tour every year without any doubt. Ironic.
Yesterday I tried my idea with the leather pants out. I could only think of a few things I had over here that might help make the fake-leather slide easily along the machine. Because powdered sugar would probably get stick as well eventually, I decided to go with flour. It worked quite well, but somehow I was afraid I might damage the fabric as flour is not completely soft, there are some harder parts in it.
Last night when I couldn't sleep I remembered I had bought baby powder years ago for ballet class, because we had to dance on bare feet a few times for a contemporary piece, and after a while your feet get so sticky from sweating that you cannot perform the turns as well as you want to. This morning I checked and found it pretty fast. This was the right white stuff! Now the fabric glides over the machine and I finally have some pretty stitches on my pants. I wish I had thought of this sooner, so for instance the back pockets would look nicer. Or the inner leg stitchings. Oh well, it is my first try with this fabric so I think I am doing pretty well.
Today I put in the zipper and discovered another problem. I used a metal zipper because it matches nicely with the zippers I put in the legs, but of course my machine cannot stitch through metal so I have no clue how to fix this. I have to do all stitchings by hand I guess and I hope it will all stay put, because some parts need to be attached really strong. You don't want your pants to rip open around the zipper, right?
Got a really short message this evening from my Finn who is terribly exhausted from hard work. I suggested some good rest, a sauna and a massage. And I am not too lazy to offer him one, although I am not sure how long my arms and hands will last. Now he is in dreamland so I think I will join him. Would be fun to meet there again.
Sunday, January 20, 2013
Heavy Arms
Today I went shopping for some presents. Finally I found all I need so my friends will all get a nice present when I arrive in Finland. I am still busy knitting a hat for one of my friends but got some other gifts all ready for the sweetest girl I will meet there. She sent me a very sweet knitted hat for my birthday so I thought it was time to return the favor. I started with a nice ribbed pattern but somehow I did not like how it looked so I restarted with a bigger rib and hope this will turn out like I want it to be.
Yesterday before I went to sleep I got another short message from my Finn and as always he is working so hard. He told me today would be a long day. I should maybe send him some sweet dreams for tonight so he won't be too sleepy when I meet him!
Since I can eat a bit again I am trying out all the things I was craving before. Today was a day for fries. I had half a banana before but somehow it did not work as well as the other days and I went to bed around six because of bad stomach aches again. I thought watching some TV shows in bed with something warm next to my belly would be good for me, but I fell asleep and just woke up. I guess I will be wide awake for the rest of the night. Just when I started to get my normal rhythm back...
This morning for the first time since two weeks I did some Pilates again. Actually I was surprised about how well it went and I did all the exercises I normally do, even with the lady-push-ups added. I hope my arm muscles soon will start functioning normal again. I'm so tired of my arms being tired all the time. It would also be great if I could go back to my regular job, because I really need the money and I miss my patients. But for now, it is just impossible. I remember massages someone in November and even if it was only for about fifteen minutes, my arms hurt for the rest of the evening. Pretty bad if you need to do this all day long.
I had an appointment with the psychiatrist last week on Monday and asked him about my tired muscles and he seemed worried about it. He kept asking me if there was anybody in my family having a disease related to muscle tiredness or anything like that. I told him my mom has fibromyalgia but as any doctor would say: that's not really something that exists. I did not tell my mom, because I know she really has something wrong with her muscles and I do believe in fibromyalgia. She would get so sad again, because people think sometimes she makes it up. She is such a fighter and I always feel bad seeing how much her muscles hurt when she does something. Still she keeps doing things and works like crazy in the garden. And goes to the gym twice every week to stay in shape, to keep her muscles in action. I wonder how she does it. I really admire her for this.
The psychiatrist also told me I have to take my medication until next year January. I told him that was really a long time so he said, well, at least until October, since that was about the last time you had a panic attack. Of course he is right and I should stay on medication because I don't want this to happen again, but this sucks. No driving for at least nine more months. How will I ever get back to work without driving a car? My muscles don't really allow me to cycle for fourty minutes and then start working. And then cycle back home. Secondly, there are always patients you need to treat at home. That's not possible without a car and with the bike you are just too slow to get from one place to the next. Dilemma. I need to find a job to pay my rent but all things I studied for are not really possible right now. I need to check out if there's something I can do closer to home. Something that doesn't require normal muscle power. Gosh, my arms even hurt right now from typing. Knitting apparently doesn't really help me get stronger muscles.
Yesterday before I went to sleep I got another short message from my Finn and as always he is working so hard. He told me today would be a long day. I should maybe send him some sweet dreams for tonight so he won't be too sleepy when I meet him!
Since I can eat a bit again I am trying out all the things I was craving before. Today was a day for fries. I had half a banana before but somehow it did not work as well as the other days and I went to bed around six because of bad stomach aches again. I thought watching some TV shows in bed with something warm next to my belly would be good for me, but I fell asleep and just woke up. I guess I will be wide awake for the rest of the night. Just when I started to get my normal rhythm back...
This morning for the first time since two weeks I did some Pilates again. Actually I was surprised about how well it went and I did all the exercises I normally do, even with the lady-push-ups added. I hope my arm muscles soon will start functioning normal again. I'm so tired of my arms being tired all the time. It would also be great if I could go back to my regular job, because I really need the money and I miss my patients. But for now, it is just impossible. I remember massages someone in November and even if it was only for about fifteen minutes, my arms hurt for the rest of the evening. Pretty bad if you need to do this all day long.
I had an appointment with the psychiatrist last week on Monday and asked him about my tired muscles and he seemed worried about it. He kept asking me if there was anybody in my family having a disease related to muscle tiredness or anything like that. I told him my mom has fibromyalgia but as any doctor would say: that's not really something that exists. I did not tell my mom, because I know she really has something wrong with her muscles and I do believe in fibromyalgia. She would get so sad again, because people think sometimes she makes it up. She is such a fighter and I always feel bad seeing how much her muscles hurt when she does something. Still she keeps doing things and works like crazy in the garden. And goes to the gym twice every week to stay in shape, to keep her muscles in action. I wonder how she does it. I really admire her for this.
The psychiatrist also told me I have to take my medication until next year January. I told him that was really a long time so he said, well, at least until October, since that was about the last time you had a panic attack. Of course he is right and I should stay on medication because I don't want this to happen again, but this sucks. No driving for at least nine more months. How will I ever get back to work without driving a car? My muscles don't really allow me to cycle for fourty minutes and then start working. And then cycle back home. Secondly, there are always patients you need to treat at home. That's not possible without a car and with the bike you are just too slow to get from one place to the next. Dilemma. I need to find a job to pay my rent but all things I studied for are not really possible right now. I need to check out if there's something I can do closer to home. Something that doesn't require normal muscle power. Gosh, my arms even hurt right now from typing. Knitting apparently doesn't really help me get stronger muscles.
Saturday, January 19, 2013
The Great Food I Had In Miami
I woke up this morning because my phone was buzzing. Very unexpected, but I got another message from my Finn and it was such a lovely surprise to hear from him so soon again. I am really counting the days until I can get on the plane. Not on the one to Denmark, although it will be great again to see my good friends and to see another Sonata Arctica show, but mostly the one to Helsinki.
So many fun things ahead of me, it's hard to focus on the things I need to do before I go there. Since today started with such a nice surprise I was all happy and made a good breakfast shake. I decided to work a bit more on a fake-leather pants I want to get done before I leave. I had some ideas in mind and I have to say they are starting to look awesome. The only bad thing about using fake-leather (or real leather, for that matter) is that this material sticks to the sewing machine and therefore all the stitches turn out much smaller than they are supposed to. I need to figure out how to make it less sticky next time. Maybe I could use some baby powder or something to make it slide more easily along the machine. Food for thoughts.
My sister called me again today and she sounded much happier. Still quite sad but she is finally seeing that she will be better off without her now ex-boyfriend. I wish she had seen the light years ago, I hated to see her all afraid and obedient all the time. There were times when they were very happy together of course, but they never lasted long. I hope she will stay strong and find her happiness!
As written in my previous post I did not cancel the Mexican restaurant this time and my friend and I had really nice taco crisps with guacamole and garlic sauce for starters. I also secretly took some bites from a banana until I ate half of it. Of course you should not bring your own food to a restaurant but I really needed to eat some banana just to make sure my stomach would not overreact immediately. It worked. For the main course we decided to take chicken fajitas and they were lovely as always! I mean, I had better Mexican food but this one is the only restaurant in the area so I'll take what I can get. Thinking of great Mexican food brings me back to Miami...
In Miami, two years ago, my friend and I discovered the Nexxt Café. It was quite a cheap restaurant but the food was amazing. I never tasted such great burritos as over there. They had one on the menu called the Monster Burrito. I had to try that one of course. After the first night we had dinner there we went back almost every day. And I always had the Monster Burrito. I still think about it and wished many times I was in Miami to taste it again. One day I will go back there to have dinner. And to have breakfast at Maxine's on Collins Avenue. They had this giant breakfast dish, called the Hungry Man's Platter. It was very tasty, with two strips of bacon, two eggs anyway you like it, toast, fresh fruit, two delicious buttermilk pancakes with maple syrup and country potatoes with a bit of veggies mixed with them. Best breakfast I ever had.
This week when I was craving food again, I was checking how much it would cost to fly to Miami. Imagine my surprise when I found out a return ticket on a certain date in March was only €379. I know I need to save money at the moment, but wouldn't it be a nice gift to myself for graduating to go to Miami for a week, having the best dishes again, swimming in the sea, lying at the beach or pool and go shopping? I will think about this. Maybe I'd rather go back to Finland when the time comes, but my friend who traveled with me last time really wants to go back as well so I think we need to make a girlie holiday out of this again some day. Maybe next year in March we can both afford to go. The weather would be great around that time as well.
Dreaming about all this delicious food, I almost forget to write how the dinner ended: I had no stomach troubles at all! This morning, thinking I was all cured, I cleaned the bathroom and kitchen. In between I made a nice salad for myself, I sure could use some veggies after the last two weeks. During the bathroom cleaning my stomach started to ache badly again and I had to quit cleaning and lie down. So still need to clean the floor, but that's about it. Not completely healthy yet, but I am getting there at least. I guess it's important as well to get enough sleep, so time to go to bed now!
So many fun things ahead of me, it's hard to focus on the things I need to do before I go there. Since today started with such a nice surprise I was all happy and made a good breakfast shake. I decided to work a bit more on a fake-leather pants I want to get done before I leave. I had some ideas in mind and I have to say they are starting to look awesome. The only bad thing about using fake-leather (or real leather, for that matter) is that this material sticks to the sewing machine and therefore all the stitches turn out much smaller than they are supposed to. I need to figure out how to make it less sticky next time. Maybe I could use some baby powder or something to make it slide more easily along the machine. Food for thoughts.
My sister called me again today and she sounded much happier. Still quite sad but she is finally seeing that she will be better off without her now ex-boyfriend. I wish she had seen the light years ago, I hated to see her all afraid and obedient all the time. There were times when they were very happy together of course, but they never lasted long. I hope she will stay strong and find her happiness!
As written in my previous post I did not cancel the Mexican restaurant this time and my friend and I had really nice taco crisps with guacamole and garlic sauce for starters. I also secretly took some bites from a banana until I ate half of it. Of course you should not bring your own food to a restaurant but I really needed to eat some banana just to make sure my stomach would not overreact immediately. It worked. For the main course we decided to take chicken fajitas and they were lovely as always! I mean, I had better Mexican food but this one is the only restaurant in the area so I'll take what I can get. Thinking of great Mexican food brings me back to Miami...
In Miami, two years ago, my friend and I discovered the Nexxt Café. It was quite a cheap restaurant but the food was amazing. I never tasted such great burritos as over there. They had one on the menu called the Monster Burrito. I had to try that one of course. After the first night we had dinner there we went back almost every day. And I always had the Monster Burrito. I still think about it and wished many times I was in Miami to taste it again. One day I will go back there to have dinner. And to have breakfast at Maxine's on Collins Avenue. They had this giant breakfast dish, called the Hungry Man's Platter. It was very tasty, with two strips of bacon, two eggs anyway you like it, toast, fresh fruit, two delicious buttermilk pancakes with maple syrup and country potatoes with a bit of veggies mixed with them. Best breakfast I ever had.
This week when I was craving food again, I was checking how much it would cost to fly to Miami. Imagine my surprise when I found out a return ticket on a certain date in March was only €379. I know I need to save money at the moment, but wouldn't it be a nice gift to myself for graduating to go to Miami for a week, having the best dishes again, swimming in the sea, lying at the beach or pool and go shopping? I will think about this. Maybe I'd rather go back to Finland when the time comes, but my friend who traveled with me last time really wants to go back as well so I think we need to make a girlie holiday out of this again some day. Maybe next year in March we can both afford to go. The weather would be great around that time as well.
Dreaming about all this delicious food, I almost forget to write how the dinner ended: I had no stomach troubles at all! This morning, thinking I was all cured, I cleaned the bathroom and kitchen. In between I made a nice salad for myself, I sure could use some veggies after the last two weeks. During the bathroom cleaning my stomach started to ache badly again and I had to quit cleaning and lie down. So still need to clean the floor, but that's about it. Not completely healthy yet, but I am getting there at least. I guess it's important as well to get enough sleep, so time to go to bed now!
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